Communication
Communication difficulties are among the most frequent reasons couples come to therapy, but improving communication requires more than simply learning what words to use. The way we speak and listen is influenced by our confidence, emotional reactions, insecurities, assumptions, past experiences, and the meanings we attach to what our partner says. UNpsych to Connect leads us into getting outside our network with ourselves to connect with others. Resources such as Speaking with Confidence & Integrity help us express what we think, feel, need, and believe without attacking, withdrawing, or abandoning our own voice.
The Communication Course takes that work deeper through Active Listening, I-Statements, Identity Restoration, and UNpsyching Myself So I Can Hear My Partner's Needs. Instead of listening while preparing our defense, we learn to become curious about the message underneath our partner's words while regulating the insecurities and protective reactions occurring within ourselves. As we become more secure in our own identity, we have less need to defend it during every disagreement. Communication can then become more than exchanging words—it becomes a way of saying, “I can remain myself while making room to understand you.”
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Communication Course
The Communication Course moves beyond simply learning what to say and explores what must happen within us before meaningful communication can occur. Through Active Listening, I-Statements, Identity Restoration, and "UNpsyching" Myself, we learn to recognize old protective patterns which can interfere with our ability to truly hear one another. As I regulate what is happening within me, communication then becomes more about creating the safety, understanding, and connection that allow partners to feel heard.
Series #2 Speaking with Confidence & Integrity
Through routines of Identity Statements, Updating Our Operating System, and intentionally monitoring small Acts of Courage, we begin gathering new evidence about who we are. Each time we speak honestly, express an opinion, set a boundary, or respectfully say what matters to us, we create an opportunity to attach a new meaning: My voice matters. I can tolerate disagreement. I can speak with both confidence and integrity. We don't have to wait until we feel confident enough to act—often, motivation and confidence follow action, as repeated acts of courage become evidence for a stronger identity.
Series #3 UNpsych to Connect
Communication and connections grow through practice. Each time we stay present, speak honestly, become curious, tolerate discomfort, or allow ourselves to be known, we create new evidence about ourselves and our relationships. By UNpsyching the old labels and meanings that have defined us, we make room for a new identity—one built not around protection and limitation, but around courage, belonging, choice, and connection. UNcover what shaped you. UNderstand what keeps the pattern alive. UNlearn what no longer serves you. Become freer to connect.
Communication
Chapter 12 of Dr. Slate's book: Your Relationships can change.
Series #4 Effective Communication
Speaking with Confidence explores the powerful connection between how we see ourselves and how willing we are to let others see us. Communication and confidence work together. Finding our voice means developing the courage to express who we are, what we believe, what we need, and what genuinely matters to us—even when we are uncertain about how others will respond.
Confidence, however, is rarely the starting point. More often, it is the result of repeated choice. Ultimately, confidence is an identity issue. Our voice tends to follow what we believe about ourselves. As we begin replacing old meanings
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